Saturday, October 30, 2010

I found a place so safe, not a single tear.


NOT.

Slept the entire afternoon, with occasional waking ups. Dreams dreams dreams, all you again. zzzzzzzz Going to cousin's house for dinner soon. I guess i'm not doing anything tmr again. Kinda ~!@#$%^&*() mood now, kinda empty, kinda silent.

"In the midst of desperate, i took a knife and drew several lines across my skin."
How silly, now all scars huh.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Like we used to.

Yeah idk why my comp cannot display pictures. :( So no blog pictures today.

Had training early in the morning until 12. MUSCLEACHE EVERYWHERE NOW! I deproved a lot, i cannot run already. Fatzzzzzzz Went to mac for lunch with sec2 and 3 bballers, double cheeeeese burger with upsized fries and double chocolate frappe. OH GOSH :o Went to germaine's house after that, sleppt until 4plus, then discussed about open house stuff. Hehe its mad funny when you're with lame people like them, hehehehehe. Took bus home with emily at 6plus :)

Mummy didnt cook dinner today so i have no dinner. Suppose to meet jav to eat, but cancelled. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

T I R E D T O T H E M A X !

My dad's coming back tmr, so i doubt i'll go out. I guess we'll be going to my new house to settle some stuff. :) My room's kinda screwed because my dad sent in the wrong colours for my closet etc. WALAOOOOOO, but at least i have my own room huh? I got to be satisfied. There's nothing to do on sunday. :( Rot rot rot.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Never stop dreaming, even when the nightmares strike.


Hello i'm really tired now.

Did classroom spring cleaning in school in the morning and collected our report books. Hmmmmm not bad luh, at least i did not fail any subjects! :) But my conduct was sucky, i hate ms tannnnnnnnnnn! D:<

Had lunch with e2 girls opposite school and headed for training. WE WERE LATE FOR ALMOST 2 HOURS! Hahah, training was mad slackkkkkkk. :D Jav came, so rare that we must applauseeeeeeeeee~ I'm excited for open house and upcoming matches! BUT SEC3S CANNOT GO BECAUSE OF SSP LA ~!@#$%^&* ZZZ Headed to mac after training with emily, germaine and xiaoting. Ate and drank double chocolate frappe before heading back to school. Went ish to slack and playyyyyy. Heheh, so funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn :> Went home at 6?

Went swimming when i reached home. I just took off my jersey and jumped into the pooooooool. Swam 3 whole hours, from 6plus to 9plus, and now i'm feeeeeling so tired. And i seriously hate people who live beside the pool and stare, like some pervert zzz. Bathed and had my dinner. MY GUIDES COOKIES ARE HERE, YUMMYZ! :D

Yesterday had interclass! 3e3 won 2nd for soccer, lost to e5 by 1 pathetic mark :( BUT WE HAD FUN HUH? Hehehe, we were awesome~ Ate dinner with deb at hougang before heading home. Okay i'm really very tired, and there's training tmr too, early in the morninggggggggggg. Okay i want to go lie down now, byeeeeeeee

Monday, October 25, 2010

We're perfectly imperfect, but i wouldnt change a thing.












OH MY GOD. I AM UNGLAM zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


OH GOD, WHAT AM I DOING, I FEEL LIKE A RETARD.



Hello.
Yeah i know i am unglam, but what the heck, i am enjoying life. I had fun :B

Went to ber's house yesterday because i was bored. Bought mac for her, and i simply love the double chocolate frappe that miaowen makes. AWESOME <: Ate and watched tv. Took a few pictures and spent the rest of the day lying on the bed talking. Jav called to chat, laughed my head outtttttt hehe. We used the comp awhile, webcam w jav and i left at 8plus. Walked around serangoon and decided to have mcflurrrrrrry~ Sat down and watch people play basketball. Reached home at 9plus :) I swear, i have the best mum ever! Nowadays, she let me go out whenever i want to. And she doesnt call me to chase me home. This doesnt mean that she doesnt care about me. She still asks me whether i'm hungry, and makes yummy supper for me. heh i love youuu.

Today? Headed to school at 8am. Bought my mac breakfast and a few harshbrowns for bballers before walking to school. Double chocolate frappe again! Holly tasty~ I was the referee for sec2 boys bball interclass, and honestly, it was rather stressful but fun! I hate it when people watching the matches shouts at the referee because we dont call a foul, zzzzzzzzzzzz. Hate it manz! But overall it was fun. Lied down in ish and had lunch, which xiaoting, germaine and emily helped to dapao. Thank you :)Had training until 5plus, kinda slack. YAY! I'm tired now, today felt like a double training. Oh ya, tnet competition is coming sooooooooooooooon~ Excited yet scared.

School tmr, and sec1 interclass. I think school tmr would be mad boring, hoho. I'm constantly hungry hungry hungry. HOW :(

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Ripped away of vanity and just go with the seasons.







Hello.

Went night safari last night with kitju eddie kohchin and david. Photos are with eddie, maybe i'll post after i get them from eddie? Kinda lazy though :S

Met ryan david and kohchin at mos burger. Waited for eddie to come, then had our yummyz dinner. Waited for kitju to come then took 138 to night safari, long bus ride standingggggg :o Ryan left after the bus came. We reached there at 8plus? Dark dark already, damm scaryyyyyy! Walked around, took pictures with scary monsters. Sat the night tram, kohchin was at the left side, then david me kitju and eddie on the right. Me and kitju hugging each other, screaming. Haha a bit retarded ah :O

Got monster chase me and kitju, so we rann rann rann rann :O Then the guys laughing, pretending that they're not scared. Heheh, i know they're scared too coz when someone pops out, they screamed too. Wanted to go to haunted village but the queue was mad longggg. Saw the night show, animals are adorableeeeeeee :> I keep screaming and running around when monsters pop out. Their eyes keep staring at you, damm creeeeeeepy~ But yeah, awesome time spent there, i wanna go there again someday! :) Left the place after 12midnight, wanted to eat supper but i was kinda tired. Thanks david's parents for sending me home! Reached home at 1plus, bathed and slept immediately.

I'm bored now, there's nothing to do today. :( Wanted to head to cineleisure to buy something but nobody pei meeeeeeee~ Maybe i'll go shopping myself later, walk walk exercise exercise. Listening to old songs now, realised the lyrics are rather meaningful. Heh seniors are having olevels soon, jiayou okay! :D God bless.

I'm craving for mac breakfast and starbucks! Fat fat but cute.

Edited:/
Going to ber's house later.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Live life to the fullest extent, dont contain a single doubt.


Hello, i've been quite active on blogs huh? Yeah i'm bored, there's nothing to do.

School today was mad boring. Chemistry lecture and biology spa before recess, maths challenge after recess. Yeah the maths challenge was kinda fun, with all the shouting and cheering. I have a total new impression of jonas already, after he won the rubixcube challenge. Hmmmm, went to 3e2 to play cards before heading down to training with xt and ger. Oh ya, ms ong say i'm not on the melbourne trip list, even though i paid already! WTHHHHHHHH :( I WANT TO GO LUH, ZZZ. Anyway, training was a total slack! Had spring cleaning, wiped floors and bballs. Did a few easy physical training, and the usual drills. No games after that, listened to coach talking about interclass referee rules. Ate watermelons bought by coach, thank you! YUMMYZ I'M IN LOVE WITH FRUITS NOW. I'm gonna eat my strawberries later heh. Chatted with xt and ger in canteen before heading home. Boredddddddddd naoz!

Looking forward to tmr. HALLOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEN <: Going night safari with kitju, eddie, kohchin and david tmr night. Excited! Hope i wouldnt get scared by their halloween events :O There's a bloody moon tonight. SCARY

Basketball friendly matches are starting next next week, and our first opponent is unity. How great -.- And its on consecutive days, IN THE MORNINGGGGGG! D: And after matches, we have to attend lessons in school, and continue our training in the afternoon. Then next morning, its match again, and lessons and trainings. Oh god, so tiring huh. Jiayou girls! <3

Okay my back and ankle mad pain. And i dont have money for tmr, gonna skip lunch and dinner tmr to save money. People return money back to me sooooooooooooon! I hope

Thursday, October 21, 2010

我怀念的是无话不说


Hello.

Today's school was mad boring. Verified my horrible results and ran to meet sports leader in the hall for interclass briefing. Had a financial talk in the hall for sec3s after that, i wasnt listening much anyway. Sang happy birthday song for pamelinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! :> Then headed to the comp lab for a survey before heading for recess. Had biology lesson after recess, did our mcq corrections for eoy papers. School ended just like that, boring huh? 3N1's in bintan now, envyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! :(

Went to cheryl's house after school, with seewan janee and cynthia. Played monopoly for 3 whole hours, hehe kinda childish but it was awesome! Went to icekimo to have icecream and waffle before going home. Took 163 with janee, she's retarded i tell you. I actually wanted to take mrt back to serangoon to roam, but i'm broke after eating icecream waffle, so i headed home. I'm rotting now

Didnt wear my contacts to school today so i couldnt see anything on the board/screen. I cant even see people's face clearly omggggg, i dont wanna wear specs coz i'll look like a trainee teacher :O

Biology and chemistry spa practical tmr! I hope i wouldnt screw anything up, please please please. :> Training tmr too! I'm having muscleaches now, i feel old.



Cramps, i need to lie down now, bye.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

We spend too much time wondering why we're not good enough.


Hello.

My results are ~!@#$%^&*( except for maybe, biology. Heh at least i did not fail any subject, even though there were borderline passes. :( Okay no complains no complains.

Ate lunch with xt, g and deb opposide after school, bought bubbletea and headed back to school and slack. Ms tan was playing stress and cheat with 3e4 and 3e5 peeps! SO COOOOOOOOOOOOL :D Hmmmm, walked around the school, crapping with xt and g! :) Fun fun fun. Talked to long in the canteen awhile, jiayou for olevels! He's flying back after olevels. I WILL MISS HIM, AWESOME SENIOR :(!!!

Went for bball training at 3pm, yes i am fat already that i cant run fast anymore. Enjoyed training until my ankle and back started hurting again. Sorry mum that you have to drive all the way to school, and back home w/o doing anything! D: SORRY. I ate dinner with cassan and deb in serangoon central, they bullllllllllllllly me! :( Bus back home with deb, bathe and tv and here i am now.

Yeah kinda fun and happy day. Except for getting back my results. Finally got a spare phone from eddieeeeee so i can sms, thank you! <:

My stomach isnt feeling well. Cramps? Yeah i want to shit but nothing is coming out lol. I keep having cravings but when food appears in front of me, i dont feel like eating. Weird! But i still want to drink koi really badly. I want frolick or yami yogurt. I want that black top from cineleisure. I want to eat chompchomp food. I need money for all that, zzz.

What are the sec3s doing tmr? Hmmmm school has been pretty boring. I'm waiting for interclass to come, excited! PAMELIN'S BIRTHDAY TMR, WO AI NI! <3

Take care melz, ber and jav on your bintan trip.

Life is full of choices.

Short post w/o pics.

Yesterday.
Went to ber's house early in the morning to take nail polish remover, my nails were pink. Headed to school tgt. Got back my results, din do as well as expected though i studied mad hard, but i cant do anything about it anyway. Kept falling asleep in auditorium, maybe i'm down with flu or something. After school, went hougang mall with felicia, chungkei and kitju. Had yummyz longjohn! :) Walked around, wanted to have frolick but headed to subway to get cookies and chat. They went off and i went roaming around serangoon hoho. Went home and slept immediately, and here i am now. Okay off to school for more results.

Today's 20102010. Last year of yesterday, 19102009, i went wildwildwet with xuan, nita and deb. Awesome time, with awesome seoul garden. Damm it i'm hungry, i need food, i gave my dinner a miss last night. There's bball today, excited but tired.

Bye.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Drenched in time.




Hello i'm posting about 2 days, so 2 pictures. Haha i actually wanted to post one of the pictures yesterday but i guess i was too tired and lazy to do so.

17oct, met kitju at orchard to have starbucks. Chatted and drank my white mocha, shiok. Walked around to shop, then decided to walk to other places, heeeeeeeeeeeren and cineeeeeeeeee! I'm gonna go back to that particular shop on the last level of cineleisure and get that top! Save money save money, its $39! :o Hoho. Took bus to zouk club. There's flea there! Shopped around, nothing much. Saw kitju's and my sister! :) Cabbed to hadi lane to shop even more. Yeah in the end i bought nothing, because i dont have monehhhhh. D: Walked to bugis, our leg like break already. Trained home at 6plus.

18oct, met dawn and chaihao at serangoon mrt, bus to amk hub to have rotiprata for breakfast. Chaihao went to get another bowl of noodles! :O Walked around and saw gohzhonghui! I stared at him, he stared back. After 5 secs, we realised its us lol. Went arcade, which i spent 1395724240918 dollars. Broke already :( But had fun though. Wanted to head to koi but the queue was damm long, and my stomach wasnt feeling well at all. Went artbox to hunt for notebooks, then arcade again. Met seewan, pamelin and janee, then headed to eat lunch.

Bus back to serangoon, then headed to ehub for bowling, 3 awesome games. Had dinner before heading back to serangoon. The bus uncle scolded me, seewan and dawn for being too loud on the bus! WALAOOO. After saying goodbye to them, wanted to head home but didnt felt like it. So i walked toward hougang plaza, went to mac to have an icecream cone. Yummyz! Walked to my ahma's house, then bus to amk. Walked around even more, felt empty so i called a couple of people to ask whether they're out. Yeah i needed some company. But not many were out, so i continued my lonely night. My mild makeup got ruined by my tears thinking about stuff, and i had to run to the toilet to clean up, but i fell down. Felt kinda pathetic. Got persuaded by ber deb and jav to head home, thanks. Reached at 10plus, feeling mad tired.

I flipped through my wallet and found many many movie tickets and receipts. Last year of yesterday, 17oct2009, i went to kbox in ehub too, until 11pm before taking bus back to hougang and cab home. I guess that was the only time i went to the kbox at night. Yeah good memories, last year was an awesome year. Fun

Okay getting back results tmr, i'm not looking forward at all. I bet i'll be very down tmr, hais. My ankle kinda hurt, but i cant go to the doctors and wrap it. Trainings are starting in 2 days time. I hope i can still run, i am fatz now.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The end.

I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care. I dont care.

"Who are you kidding? Stop lying to youself and face reality. People walk in and out of your life, leaving their footprints behind like they never bothered trying to stay in it at all. Its not your fault, its just life. People find new friends, find new love, find new interests and hobbies. We cant deny the fact that the only thing constant about this world is that there's always changes happening around us. But what can we do? Freeze time? Go back in time? What a big joke. Time doesnt stop for anyone. We just have to pull ourselves together and continue living. Bite your tongue and show people you are strong. "

Quoted.

Yeah, i've been spending this few days alone. At least with my family. They're not the best, but at least they are the only one i've got now. At least i'm lucky enough to have a complete family. Kinda feel lonely at times, even if i'm with my classmates, or just sitting down and listening to music. I hardly have much true friends. Except maybe dawn, ryan, chungkei and a few of my classmates. Even within my class, nobody knows what i'm going through. I might seem like i've got many friends in school, but when something really happens, not many would be there for me. I'm always the cheerful girl? Ya bullshit. If anyone was true or close enough with me to know, i'm not that happy every single second of the time. Actually recently, nobody know what i'm thinking anymore. I'm not really close with berlin anymore, or dawn. Or even basketballers like germaine, xiaoting, audrey or shiying. We will always be close for some time, then everything became kinda awkward. And people will find other friends to hang out with. I'm not close with eddie or kitju, i feel kinda extra when i'm with them, they have been the best of friends, the two of them. I dont like to bug in. I've also havent been talking much to jav or deb. Yeah so much has changed. Okay this is gonna be a wordy blog again if i dont stop.

P.s/ no offence if i say something offensive.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

You me, we're face to face but we dont see eye to eye.


Hello how cute is that, a flying pink pig.

Okay i've been sleeping pretty late this few days. Second post today already, i'm bored. :( Caught a mild fever, 37.5, and i got this damm ulcer that's really really pain in my mouth. Zzz

That's nothing to do on saturday. Suppose to go cycling with vinita and the girls, but it was cancelled to another day. I'm mad bored, another loner day tmr again. I wanna watch movieeees! But i have to save money first, or at least tell people who owe me money to return me. Berlin, ben, javien, debbie, get the hint? haha. Yeah, not gonna continue my previous post here. I might write it in a book or something. Oh ya, i found my dairy and read through it. First entry was 5feb 2009, last entry was 24june 2010. A pretty old dairy, filled with many many many memories. Miss them painfully.

I got to stop lying to myself, and start trying. I can do it, i hope.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Cause you said forever.


Hello i woke up at 3.30pm today.

Got nothing to do, so i went down to sit by the pool, with just my laptop, and my phone. My wireless is amazing, i could still connect to the internet there. Sat there and listened to the sound of the pool. I've fallen in love with the condo's clubhouse area recently. Wasted 4 hours there, and counting because i havent left. No life shit huh. zzz This is gonna be a long reflective post because i got nothing to do.

Yeah, i got to think about how this year passed by so fast. I'm gonna be sec4 next year, my last year in zhonghua. I suddenly understood how the seniors are feeling, rushing against time to study but at the same time, wanting things to slow down so that they could catch their breath and spend more time with friends. Yes i'm gonna miss many people so badly when i graduate. And i'm scared of exams, really really afraid of olevels. I'm not confident, i'm fearful about how i have to work so so hard to study, and memorize so many stuff. I'm not sure whether i can manage the stress or resist those temptations to rest and play. I'm also not sure where i'm headed to. Ever since sec 1, i wanted to be a crime scene detective or doctor, got motivated by those csi and police shows. That sense of accomplishment when you solve a case, or bring back justice to a family. And that pride when you cure a patient or found a cure for a disease. I like that feeling, but this career seem pretty hard and risky. Oh well, i'll just wait and see.

I thought of how happy i was before june holidays. But yet at the same time, guilty of cheating my parents. I really regretted so many things i've done this year, letting countless people down. I've always been the type that sets high expectations for myself, but this year, i lost myself, literally. I forgot all the values i have held on to ever since young. Lying and cheating, yes i'm not proud of it. But its over, so i've got to move on and forgive myself. Even if its mad hard but i have to try.

I could still remember my sec1 and 2 life. The first day of school, me sticking to yuxuan so closely, because she was the only person i knew in class. Then we met yaole, the first new friend i met. The sec1 orientation camp was a very fruitful one. I still remembered my first impression of ryan. Yuxuan said he looked like zhonghui, actually not really. By the first semister, i got pretty close with the class. I remembered working so hard for chinese new year decorations, literature fiesta etc, and succeeding too. I was quite unreasonable back then, bossing the class to meet deadlines, i'm really really sorry. I remembered one of the biggest fight was with ryan, i cried and yaole cheered me up. I'm sorry i was being such a jerk. I remember being close with joanne, chungkei, vinita, jasmine, yunwei, huixuan and belinda. And even foriming a season clique with dawn, yaole and sweetin. I remembered the last project we did together was the cip project where we sewed keychains. I rememebered everyone asking julia and shannon to teach us, because they're just simply amazing. And jingling, who always calls me her lizard. And weixin, having the same birthday as me! Yeah 1e6 and 2e6 was awesome.

I guess not many people knew why i came to zhonghua, it wasnt my first or second choice. I didnt even knew this school existed, no offence. I was accepted into quite a few girl's school throught netball dsa, i could go into sports school too. But me and zhonghui wanted to go into the same school together, yeah we were together, quite in love. He rejected his swimming dsa to acsi because of us. But in the end, we still fell apart. Yeah i felt guilty of ruining his swimming career just like this, but luckily he managed to get into acsi during sec2 although he wasted one year. Oh well, we're still friends.

I regretted entering zhonghua at first. I wanted to continue my netball career because i was kinda good at it. And being the school's head prefect, i got a leading advantage. Oh ya, i was the school's worst head prefect because of being in relationship and skipping many duties, guilty. Anyway, i didnt really wanted to go into zhonghua because netball wasnt one of their ccas. And i had a tough time deciding over shooting and bball. And i choose bball because it was similar to netball. Because of basketball, my life changed a lot a lot but there wasnt a single regret.

I became close with xiaoting, the first bballer i knew. Because we were in the same class, and always headed to trainings together. Pairing up for training drials and stuff, oh man i love it. I made it to the school team during sec1, even though i was the worst player in it. I was too attached to netball and couldnt change my ways. Yeah i'm always too attached to something or someone, being unable to forget and move on. Anyway, i got close with germaine. I remember sticking to each other when we were in the team. And having heart to heart talks, or sitting in the bus together and listening to music. We sort of understand each other, and encouraged each other in bball. She's a great captain, we adore her retarded aunty-ness! Hehe. I became close to debbie and lingen too. Seriously, if i havent met them, my life would be totally boring. If i lost these two friendships, it would be a torture. I'm serious, they mean a lot to me. And i even got to know melanie, the first angmo i knew. And also many many adorable seniors. I rememeber sheena, always worrying about my injuries, yes i'm kinda clumpsy. And that time when my back had a serious injury, sheena always kept an eye on me during trainings. Whenever i made a painful expression or rub my back with my palms, sheena would ask me whether it hurts. I was kinda touched, really appreciate her care and concern. And wanhua, always making fun of me, and ganging with me to bully xiaoting. During lesson time, whenever we saw each other, she would try to trip me. And valerie, who was there to give me advice on relationship problems, and leading the team, and being such an awesome captain! And sheila, who works in koi too. When we knew we were colleages, we talked about stuff that happens in koi, and other people who worked in koi too, like two mad women. And she's always kinda retarded to make me laugh so hard. And sue an, the one who will always laugh at my lame jokes, who will always have the same mindset as me, who always like to flip her hair and slap me with it, and then i'll do the same back to her. And huien, being the team's kai xin guo, who was always making the team laugh, and teaching me science whenever i asked her. And many many other seniors, both in baskeball and those who are not, good luck for your exams alright! :)

I met many lovely juniors too! Shiying, being the closest junior with me. Helping me in relationship problems, and i'll always give her my advice. Accompanying me when i was bored or down, i remember we sat in the train for 2 hours, travelling to and fro the cirle line, because we wanted to talk. Yeah it was kinda dumb but i appreciate it. And audrey, who would lend me a listening ear when i needed it. Who talks to me about her problems too, and we would always find ways to cheer coach up together. I remember me calling her powderful because she always scored 3pointers. And that date we went on together from school to tampines to woodlands and finally home. Talking in the bus and library. Sorry that my dad had to ruin it, and sorry he scolded you, i feel bad. And other juniors like rebakah and jinyi who would always ask me to cheer up and take care. And keandra who would spam me with her retardedness, and having the same jersey number as me! And evonne who would cheeeeeer me up and talk to me on facebook, appreciate your concern a lot a lot.

I never regretted joining basketball, or zhonghua. Okay stop, its 9pm already, my dad is asking me to head up now. I'll continue another day, its nice thinking about stuff and pening them down in a blog. Oh damm it, my mood went crashing down already. Hais i want to go out tmr.

You took my hand, you showed me how.


Now playing: Just the way you are.

Yeah i'm still awake, i dont have school tmr. I'm suppose to head out with dawn to ehub for bowlinggggggggggg. But a lot ppl cannot make it, so we changed the date. I'm gonna be a loner tmr. Okay, i have always been a loner.

Today after exams, went mac with enzio and dawn, then i went back to school to wait for my dad. I rejected going kbox with dance clique lehhhhhhhhhhh :o i feel like i'm suffereing from post-exam depression. lol I went back to school, sat down with xiaoting to see the uniforms group prepare for graduation ceremony. Then went up to ish to stone, i'm not joking. Listened to music, stared at people playing ball, and managed to kill 2-3hours. Dad fetched me to buy dinner, where i saw vinita and jasmine :) Hehe, went for swimming for 2 hours! I didnt really swim, just lay on the surface of water, staring at the sky turning black. The silvery glow of the moonlight really sets a peaceful environment for me to think stuff through. Bathed at 8plus and ate my dinner.

Now playing: Pink's who knew.

My phone died because it cannot send/receive smses :(
I feel like i'm lifeless, i'm not emo, just reflective and is a stoner. I like to stare at things, and listen to music.

Previous few days were just mass studying. With cynthia in mac for biology was v productive lehhhhh! :D I've been going down to my study lounge at night because i cannot focus. Hais

I AM BORED, I WANT TO GO OUT AND PLAY.
I WANT TO GO WORK AND EARN MORE MORE MORE MONEY $$$
I WANT TO RESTORE FRIENDSHIPS BADLY.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Even the best falls down sometimes.


Current song playing: Dynamite

End of examinations! But i dont feel the happy feeling, i'm not sure why. I'm quite tempted to continue studying, a bit weird huh. Nevermind, i'll get myself hooked to some korean dramas and waste time watching. Hohoho

I guess i could say i studied and gave my best. There may be regrets but i cant do much anymore. Just keep my fingers cross and pray that my exams would be fine.

Review on eoy exams:
English paper 1- No comments, okay i guess?
English paper 2- Didnt finish. Realised my vocabulary is damm limited :(
Higher chinese paper 1- CHE BAI I NEVER FINISH. Spent most of my time writing a 5page compo, which is only 20 marks. And only 15minutes, to do my second compo, which is 70 marks i think. WTF DIEEEEEEEEEEEE :(
Higher chinese paper 2- I managed to complete it, short answering to the max! And i completed my sucky summary in 5 minutes i think. I have a bad feeling i'll do badly, coz the last passage was kinda hard.

Social studies- Confident about my essays! But i didnt finish my source base, its kinda crappy too though.
Geography- I DID NOT DO LEVEL MARKING! :( And the other level marking i finished, was intepreted wrongly, so i wrote irrelavent stuff. I lost 15 marks minimum.
History- SCREW SCREW SCREW BIG TIME! I did not do an entire essay, 12 marks fly. I only finish half of another essay, 6 marks fly. I didnt know stalin was called joseph so i wrote a wrong inference. 6 marks fly. My cross referencing also wrong already. SO MINIMUM MARK LOST= 24, thus i will confirm fail this paper -.- I spent so much time revising for history somemore, even borrowing notes from seniors. IN THE END LIDDAT, ZZZ

Amaths- Average, i left 3 questions blank because i have no idea how to do. I did not change to radian mode in my calculator, wasted!
Emaths- A little above average, i hope i wouldnt have careless mistakes. D:

Biology- Manageable, but MCQs are hard. Finished it with 2mins left to check through. HAPPPPPPPPPPPPY
Chemistry- Easier than expected. But i still didnt complete it, no time. Half of my MCQs are done by playing guessing game on my OTAS, i didnt even look at the question. :O Zzz and i lost 7 marks already. I read the question wrongly. :(

I always cannot finish my papers, and always read the question wrongly. I think many people agree with me, i have pooooor time management. I'm always late whenever i'm meeting people, you can ask dawn and berlin hehe. :O Okay, i shall not complain anymore, its over anyway.

Current song playing: Collide

I need go see my new house nao, continue later. Bye

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Even the stars refuse to shine.


Back from dinner with family! Enjoyable one, i should appreciate them more. Lesser tension between me and my dad, happppppppppppppppy! :)

Okay, woke up today and went back to sleep. Couldnt continue my dream, shoooo saddd, it was a nice dream though. Watched some tv, bathed and headed out with family. I did one question on amaths. LOL. Shall study seriously tmr, catch me in serangoon mac alone people! :o Dont come disturb me okay, but you can say hi or something, hehe. Should i write out notes for geog? A bit no time, i havent started and tmr is the only time i can do my revision. Hmmmm nvm, i shall write my own notes, i hope i've got enough time. :( Okay exams are approaching fast fast fast! Scared.

I am tired, i might be heading to bed early tonight. Bye readers!

i'll start afresh.

As the stars lean down to kiss you.


Hello i'm still blogging when i havent start on my geog yet. Time time time! I can turn off my clock, but it doesnt change the fact that time is still moving.

Okay, i have completely lost motivation to study. Watch me do badly

Yes dad, that's what you get when you constantly bring us out during my exam period. Certain things are done at appropriate time, family bonding shouldnt be now. Dumb


I had a great dream yesterday, i'm gonna go back to sleep to continue it. Bye

Friday, October 8, 2010

Where were you, when everything was falling apart.


Gonna catch them all, pokemon.
I suddenly think of the dance that 3e5 danced during teacher day, damm cute.

Isnt that picture cute? I used to be pure to believe in pokemons, fairytales and digimon. Now, even though i still watch dora the explorer, blueclues, spongebob, teentitan, fairy oddparents and ben10, i dont have much faith like how i used to, anymore. Yeah so much so much so much has changed. Not only you, not only me, but everyone and everything, even if its just a teeny weeny bit. We cant deny the fact and say we have not changed, because people grow old and die, feelings change and fade away. For some, its faster. For me, i'm slow, i need a lot a lot of time i guess. I cant believe i'm still online and blogging when its just 2 more days to eoy exams. I SHOULD STUDY HARDER, I DONT WANNA FAIL.

Okay, what did i do yesterday? Normal lessons i guess. Went to study in library with dawn. :) Then jiayi and yanling came too. Yanling came to do one maths question, then she left! Haha damm retarded. Then enzio came and i felt extra :( Hehe, but it was fun laughing at them! Hoho! They left at 4plus and left me aloneeeeeeeeeeeee. But long came to study with me, unproductive because we kept talking and laughing! O: FUN, hehe. Walked out together at 5plus. Had dinner with my dad at chompchomp before heading home. I slept at 8plus right after eating -.- FATTY.

Today? Usual lessons. Since i didnt study the day before, at all, i was chionging revision but i was mad tired. :( Me and yuxuan gonna plan a sentosa trip for 3e3 during holidays, most probably! EXCITED (Y) Went to study in the library after chinese. Chongkai came to study with me! :D Then mrs hoo came with my class boys! They were having geog ssp and i kept disturbing. Hehe. Ryan came to study with me too! Long came too, but since my table all occupied, he went to find his classmates, sorry! O: I think everyone left at 5plus, then me and ryan went back to class to continue studying. :) I went home at 6plus, and i just had my dinner. I'm gonna go bathe soon, mass study session tmr. I hope, jiayou :D

Javien's chinese compo made it to the school compo book, omg! :O Reading it, i miss my sec2 life. :(

I'm tired tired tired tired tired tired tired. Sometimes i wonder why i persisted so much on living, when a happy life is so hard. Hais i miss us. slash

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.


I cant sleep, its 3am now. I want to die, i'm listening to songs that are so sad. Songs that you love to sing. Oh god help me. I'm suppose to be studying, but i miss you so much.

Not saying anything. I just like this song.

其实还爱你-阿沁

我讨厌阴天的风冷的那么刺痛
只有你能够抚平所有的寂寞
昨天的风筝在角落被谁丢到了路口
我很不想让你找到离开的理由
每一夜闭上眼睛我看到了恶梦
你微笑但是旁边的人不是我
天空切开一道裂缝直接刻到我心中
不想装做脆弱也不想爱得懦弱

其实我非常爱你不想失去你
难道我没有权利说我不愿意

你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心

我知道他很爱你你害怕伤心
我每天假装开心害怕你离去
可不可以任性求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句其实还爱你

每一夜闭上眼睛我看到了恶梦
你微笑但是旁边的人不是我
天空挤开一道裂缝直接刻到我心中
不想装做脆弱也不想爱得懦弱

其实我非常爱你不想失去你
难道我没有权利说我不愿意

你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心
我知道他很爱你你怕他伤心

我每天假装开心害怕你离去

可不可以任性求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句其实还爱你
可不可以任性求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句其实还爱你


OH GOD, I BET TMR I'LL DIE. I'M TIRED, CAN MY MIND DONT BE SO ACTIVE?
I hate it when memories overwhelmes me.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

And you have got nowhere to run.


Hello people, i'm not studying hard. HOW HOW HOW? :( I dont want to fail, but i've got no motivation to do my revision. And i keep falling asleep, am i that tired? D: Someone please force me to study please, exams are in just 5 days. AND I'M SCARED TO DEATH. Scared scared scared, my heart isnt in peace.

Anyway, went to study with enzio and dawn and cheryl after school in the library. Then cheryl left after awhile, and longgg came. I kept disturbing the couple, and enzio keep giving me his "old man trying to act cute but fail" expression. And his "its funny but i'm not gonna laugh out loud" reactions. Seriously epic! :D Me and dawn were damm noisy in the library. O: Hoho, i remembered felicia and insoo were there too, at the table beside us. Hehe fun fun fun day, but super super unproductive! :( Having a senior as a tuitor is awesome! HEHE. Everyone left at 5plus. Then me and longg went to foyer and revise sec3 history. Then went home when my dad called, i almost got my phone confiscated outside general office! Heng ah.

Went home, did some homework and watched ultraviolet on tv. UNPRODUCTIVE REVISION, DAMM SAD LA. :(

Okay today? Usual lessons, then had history ssp after school in auditorium. Then went to library to study history alone. Whole day dedicated to history! :O But i only spent 1 hour in the library because i kept running to the toilet. Serious stomachache. Longg came then we left the place at 5plus and headed to bus stop to wait for my dad. Was tuitored sec3 history while waiting. Slept on my father's car, damm tired idk why. D:

Reached home, ate a buffet of fats. Zzz oh ya, my diet plan failed because my dad want me to eat my dinner. And i'll always go down and eat lunch with dawn. O: Nvm after exams then go diet. I hope hehe! Bathed, watched tv, facebook and gonna do homework soon! A LOT I TELL YOU. :o Hais.

I've been listening to some old songs, yeah kinda sad. I feel like crying, heart pain x12345678987654321
WAIT, PAUSE, i should be studying! zzz

You've changed, i couldnt recognise you for some reason. Have fun with your new life and new love. Err okay sorry bye.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Real eyes realise real lies.


Hello. Cool right? Seven. Miley cyrus has the same shirt as me! :D I feel so high class lol.

Anyway, i might not be blogging as much until eoy exams are over, which is just less than 2 weeks. So be patient stalkers :) This weekend was a very very very unproductive weekend, thanks to my dad. He kept bringing the family out to eat, or visit our new house, look for paint colours, tile patterns, or simply visiting relatives. O: Wasted a lot of time! I didnt revise, i am just gonna try to finish my homework tonight. There's like a whole pile of them. JIAYOU

Spent today dreadfully, with cramps. My stomach keep grumbling, and i farted dk how many times. heheh omg O: I vomited twice today, felt awful. :( I think i'm suffering from mild depression. I keep imagining stuff, death and sad stuff, zzz. I think i tell jav and ber dk how many times already. Yeah, still kinda sad, ever since friday's crying. But i'm gonna buck up for exams i hope! I cant afford to do badly, because i want to prove something to my parents, teachers and coach. And i want to ask my dad buy something for me. :O AND I WANT A EOY HOLIDAY WITH LOADS OF FREEDOM!!!

Okay, i have to study pretty hard, i guess, i hope, i must. Will be in the school library everyday until 5.30pm after school, so if you're looking for me, go there please. Or maybe classroom, or ne corner or serangoon mac if the school chase me out. O: But i hope i can get these stuff in, and those sad stuff out.

Oh ya, i'm planning on a 2month diet. I want to slim down i tell you, i am determined! But i have scars though, nvm heh. I'm just gonna eat breakfast and biscuits if i'm hungry. So dawn lee enyi, you better dont pull me down for recess! HOHO. :D I'm gonna go jogging everyday after exams are over. Or maybe head to gym with kitju! <: YAY.

Homework left: Emaths amkss paper2, chinese paper2 practice, chemistry 2009 eoy, chemistry tys, amaths 2009 eoy. I think that's all. JIAYOU!
Days til eoy: 8
Days til end of eoy: 12

Currently 4days behind my study schedule, which is quite serious! So i'm gonna use social studies and english period to study, dont disturb me thank you. :) Okay, october is a month of birthdays. OMG have to save moneh. I'm tired, need to go bathe and start on homework soon, bye.

back spaced. ily

Friday, October 1, 2010

One two babysteps.


More elaborated post, the previous one was kinda crappy.

Today:
I was suppose to stay away from the computer until exam is over. But since i decided today shall be a resting day, i can use it. hehe :) English paper one and two were average, okay, slightly difficult but manageable. Chinese paper one was crappy, because i have pooooooor time management and i dont have priority. Sucky la :( But social studies was easy although i couldnt finish the paper and i spent like 20 mins only, on 4 source base questions, it was written v briefly. Hais nvm, its handed in already, i cant do anything liao. I hope i can do well for my main papers, i'm kinda tired to study though. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Had emaths ssp after exam, then waited a while before going ber's house. Slacked there and used her comp. Then headed to mac to studyyyyyyy, like real. Talked talked then jav came too. My mood was mad down todayyyyyyyy, cried in mac because of certain stuff. Sad to the maxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, so i decided to blast my music and walk around serangoon alone. Left ber and jav in mac to do their homework. Walked to bball court and decided to play with my juniors! :D Hehe, audreyyyy and siying, and some other people like bernard and shijie. LOL had fun though, thank youuu. :) Idk why today i so zun, winkwink. Hehez

Sort of cooled myself, so i went back to mac. Talked and listen to songs, then i went back to being downnnnnnnn again. We decided to head back to school there. Jav went in to take books while me and ber stayed outside and stone. Hoho. Went to the playground beside ber's house to rot and spam music! And providing blood for mosquitos. lol o: Cried again. Zzz broke down totally when we're going back to ber's house. Thanks ber and jav for trying to cheer me up! Love ya guys.

Used her comp and went home alone at 8plus. Saw tommy, ben and i think is their church people. I couldnt recognise people's face because i took down my contacts. Ben: Hello, so late go home ar? Me: Errrrr who are you? lol retarded. Reached home at 9plus, alone at home. My sister school got something on, lucky or else i confirm get scolded. :o Hah.

Yesterday:
Had tests, then went to eat lunch at mac with 3e3 dance crew :) Studied awhile with kitju before she went for gym. Then i studied my social studies aloneeeeeeeeeeee, mad tired. I did not see you until like 5plus? Omg. Kitju came back to study with me after her gym before she went off with her mum at 6. I studied for a while more before going home. I ran a bit and missed my bus 70. Zzz waited damm long for the next one :( but yuxuan was there to pei me hehe. Reached home at 8plus? Bathed and studied, couldnt. So i went to sleep and woke up at 3plus to continue studying, half asleep mode, shitz. :(

Wednesday:
Usual lessons. Pe was awesomely fun! :D I LOVE SOCCER. I want interclass soccer! :) I have confidence that our class may win, just that we're afraid of e5 and n1. :o hoho. Went to study alone in the library until 5.30, then studied at NE corner til 7plus. OMG MAD TIRED. Exam stressssssssssssssss! :(

Okay i'm lazy to recap already. My neck keep getting rashes, damm itchy! And my mosquito bites v pain. :( I'm gonna sleep early tonight, i dont wanna wake up, feel so restless and motivationless.

MY HEAD GONNA BAOZHA.
MY HEART IS DYING.
Damm pain damm pain damm pain damm pain. Cry x123456789

And its killing me to see you walk away after all this time.


At berlin's house now, suppose to go library study alone today. But many people say i'm gonna suffer from exam depression if i continue using studies to tire myself. Oh ya, slacking now.

K i scared berlin scold me say i post v long so bye.

I know i cant breathe without you, but i have to breathe without you.